“I can’t do this,” I said to my Executive Pastor. I genuinely believed that I was in over my head. We were hiring who anyone would call a dynamic, high-capacity leader. On paper, his pedigree was stronger than mine. His experience was more extensive. Yet, for the first year of his ministry at our church, he reported to me.

Fortunately, he was one of my closest friends, Pastor Coleton Segars. While he won’t admit it, his grace, humility, and poise created a space for me to begin learning one of the most challenging lessons in leadership: “How do you lead leaders?” Here are a few reflections:

1. Being overt about your authority does not help anything.

One of the phrases he taught me never to say to anyone, let alone a high-capacity leader, is, “I don’t want to have to use my trump card.” Nothing deflates the enthusiasm or disengages a dynamic, high capacity leader faster than explicitly waving your veto power in their face. In most cases, the best leaders are collaborative and want to serve their leaders. But explicitly reminding them of your authority is interpreted as: “I don’t trust you to collaborate.” These are two statements that would dis-engage anyone.

2. Agree on the mountain – let them climb it how they want.

Instead of being so concerned about how they get from point A to point B, spend your time aligning with them on where point B is. Let them get there in their own way. Even though it’s different than your way, having a dynamic leader engaged in the destination is way more effective than having them disengaged but on your path. More often, I have found that what I call the “right way” is actually just “my way.” Don’t feel guilty about showing them how work is done currently and your way of doing something. But call it what it is: “my way.” Learning to apply this will liberate you to die on less hills.

3. Shine the spotlight on their work.

Don’t be afraid to elevate their work and their wins. Not only is this the good leadership in general, it will especially communicate you are “for them” and not competing with them. Actively look for ways to celebrate their success publicly. This builds trust and dilutes any competitive spirit brewing in your team.

Coleton has a true gift to leave anyone better than when he first met them. I’m truly a different person having had the joy and privilege to serve alongside his leadership the past few years. His friendship and ministry partnership have been one of the most profound revelations of God’s grace in my life.